I had such high camp hopes for Obsessed when I hyped the trailer months ago but it was a total let down. Aside from a fight scene and funny line here and there, it is mostly Ali Larter being a sexy psycho getting tips from the resident office gossip, the gay receptionist, and countless random shots of Beyonce staring out of windows while a Sia song is playing. As expected, the entire movie is in the trailer so no surprises here. Beyonce's character was just annoying, probably cuz Beyonce only played a one-note ABW (angry black woman), but to be fair, that's all she was given. So I had to research the writer of this movie, David Loughery, wrote "Lakeview Terrace" ", "Money Train" and "Passenger 57"...but also "The 3 Musketeers", "Star Trek V" and an episode of the 80's TV show "Hart to Hart"??? What kind of resume is that? Who are you David Loughery?
X-MEN Origins: Wolverine = Made me want to do this...
X-Men...stick a fork in it, it's done. X-Men 3 sucked so hard I wasn't expecting much from Wolverine. Granted I watched it online, without finalized special effects, but it still sucked. I'm officially done with X-Men movies. 1 was ok, 2 was the best, 3 was God-aweful, and this spin-off was the last nail in the coffin. Goodbye X-Men movies, farewell Halle Berry's white wig and white eyes, so long Rebecca Romeijn's naked, blue, scaley body, this franchise is dead.
The Wackness = The Wiggerness
Yo, yo, yo! What is crack-a-lacking my homies? 1994 is the bomb.
I thought this movie looked retarded and guess what, it is. It's like a white Jew from NYC saw the movie 'Kids' and heard a Notorius B.I.G. song and decided to make those his new lifestyle. (You know he was really just sitting at home watching Party of 5 and listening to Counting Crows). Since idiots believe every piece of pigeon shit in New York is the coolest thing in the world, cuz it's from New York, he wrote a screenplay about himself 10 years later, cuz drugs are sooo urban, and he's so prolific, throw in an Olson twin and an oddly proportioned Ben Kingsley in a tiny hat, and cast a dopey-Disney-channel-tween-star-trying-to-be-edgy as himself and presto...The Wiggerness! We're really supposed to believe some slow white stoner sold a ton of weed out of an ice cream cart in the middle of NYC and the cops were none the wiser? and he never got jumped? and Method Man is his Jamaican dealer? This movie is the definition of TRYING WAY TOO HARD, and failing.
Synecdoche, New York = ???
This movie just screamed 'I'm crazy and totally self-indulgent, please look at meeee, pay attention to meeee!', but then I realized that's also kind of the point. The dude spends his life, making a massive play about his life that never gets performed because he keeps adding everything from his life to the play, so it just goes in circles for years until you're exhausted and want to die. I liked the themes throughout the film, that life is fleeting and everyone is the star of their own life, and it's similar to David Lynch's "Inland Empire" where the lines between real life and performance get blurred, but I'm still not sure how to pronounce the damn title so I can't say much more, except the end credits song "Little Person" was my favorite part. It's on itunes and it's great.
The Visitor = Asshole businessman feels empty inside, discovers inner-city drum circles, becomes slightly enlightened, starts questioning American immigration policy. It was like 'Crash' meets 'Rent' meets Burning Man, meets me pressing the 'eject disc' button after 20 minutes.
Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys = Not as racist as the poster???
Hmmmm...this should have been the poster for "Obsessed" as there is an actual choking fight scene in that movie, but this movie is just about prejudice and money and Christian morals and the usual Tyler Perry preachy bullshit.
