And I've seen a LOOOOOOTTTT of shit. Maybe I should clarify; this is the weirdest movie I've ever seen in the theater? I have been trying to think of something weirder but it was all forced, artsy-weird, or just trippy self-aware shit that was trying too hard to be edgy. Yeah, I know this director is trying to be his weird old self too, and maybe I need to read the book to understand some stuff but I'm not getting near any book. This movie was so confusing and bizarre I found myself curled up into a ball towards the end and listening to all the mom's around me go "ummmm...???" as their guilt startled to settle in for subjecting their kids to this. Oh and yeah, I did see it in 3D of course, you know how I roll. Well maybe you don't, but when I roll, I usually roll in 3D. Spy Kids 3D is still my fave. Spoilers ahead!
I know the basic premise of the story but the way it just sort of stumbles over itself, to accentuate Coraline's awkwardness perhaps, makes it hard to follow? Or maybe it was the way I fell asleep somewhere early in the second act and woke up in Crazytown which left me with many unanswered questions. I gathered her parents ignore her and she finds this magical world where everything seems perfect but isn't, but I couldn't figure out why her best friend was this autistic kid who looks like a retarded, grunge-era Cabbage Patch kid in Doc Martens.
Skip to Act 3-ish: There was a tipping point, when I officially realized it was beyond my brain's motivation to comprehend, during some scene where Coraline enters an opera house where a fat stripper is battling a fat mermaid on stage and the audience is full of Scottie dogs with giant grins. Thoughts? Anyone? I gave up after that, and you probably will too unless you are a drunken French clown from Cirque Du Soleil, in which case you would find this movie very obvious and banal.
Teri Hatcher (voice of Coraline's mom) turns from claymation Desperate Housewife, to Posh Spice/Victoria Beckham, to a crazy-robot-spider-alien-lady. Coraline has to collect enough shattered dreams to free herself and the ghost kids she meets in the alternate universe, I think? I don't know, the talking cat was cool though, just make sure you go into this movie with an 'open mind'...and don't try making sense of anything. Here is my ghetto visual aid of the mean Coraline mom/Victoria Beckham similarities. Am I right or am I right?
Went to the all black theater in Dallas cause they were the only place playing this in 3D (go figure). Anyways. Lines were all over the place cause Madea goes to Jail was literally playing on three fuckin screens. So we go in our theater and it was only white people. Seriously. Like an episode of the twilight zone. You pretty much got this review right EXCEPT you failed to mention one important thing.. In the very last scene they bring out the 'best friends' grandma... and she's BLACK! WHAAA??? That means her best friend is black? im confuzed.
ReplyDeleteSorry to say I had no probs figuring the movie out. As well It's obvious her friend is black I could tell that when she met him. BTW Wybie is not autistic either. To say that is pretty pathetic considering I knew many kids in school who were awkward and quite and they for sure were not autistic in fact quite the opposite. This movie is far better and more creative then the rest of the crap that keeps coming out in theaters, I mean really. I found it to be charming and fun perhaps you should try reading.
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